Dependent Infant
Parody of: "Independent Women" by Destiny's Child (B. Knowles, K. Rowland, M. Williams)
New lyrics by: John Holland
Author's Note: This isn't my best, but...

Boo-hoo...gagagoogoo...I'm a baby, look after me
Mama's sweetie, come on
Urp, urp, urp

Question: Why isn't my bottle ready yet?
Just stick it in my mouth and then I'm set
Come and comfort me when I'm feelin' lonely
When I'm asleep, please stay, don't leave
Question: May I ask where the heck is Dad?
Oh, there he is, he was behind his hands
Wait, he's gone again, this isn't very cool
Oh, great, he's playing peekaboo

My rattle toy
I want it
My milk bottle
I want it
My blue blankie
I want it
'Cause I depend on Ma
If I wanted the food you're eating
I'll grab it
The cat's fluffy tail
I'll grab it
If I wanna go to sleep
Mom'll rock me
I depend on Ma
(I depend on Ma)

CHORUS:

All the infants who are dependent
Throw up at yo mommas
All the babies who are helpless
Throw up at yo mommas
All the younguns who're smellin' pungent
Throw up at yo mommas
All the kiddies listen closely
Throw up at yo mommas

Gotta love me, 'cause I cry all night long
Infants, listen to me sing this song
Gotta love me, 'cause I cry all night long
Infants, listen to me sing this song

Tell me what you think about this
There ain't time to reminisce
Not when you're runnin' 'round takin' care of me
Dang, it ain't easy bein' so dependent
Question: Who am I to fend for myself?
Only nine months old, not 2x12
Fellow infants listen very closely to my song
Depend on Mom and Dad to give you what you want

The shoes on my feet
You tie 'em
The clothes I'm wearing
You iron 'em
The crib I'm rocking
You make it
'Cause I depend on Ma
If I wanted any single thing
You'd get it
For your precious me
You'll get it
My stuffed doggie
I want it
I depend on Ma
(I depend on Ma)

REPEAT CHORUS

Gotta love me, 'cause I cry all night long
Infants, listen to me sing this song
Gotta love me, 'cause I cry all night long
Infants, listen to me sing this song

Baby child
Spit up
Bein' a babe
It's tough
We'll work our parents all through the night

Child of Bob and Sue
I put up with peekaboo
The one that I look up to
Baby Huey...

(Singing) Waaaaaaahhhhhh......

REPEAT CHORUS

Gotta love me, 'cause I cry all night long
Infants, listen to me sing this song
(repeat until fade)