Influenza Now
Parody of: "N2Gether Now" by Limp Bizkit (W. Borland, L. Dimant, F. Durst, J. Otto, S. Rivers)
New lyrics by: John Holland and Bryan Mastergeorge
Author's Note: I am NEVER parodying another rap song ever again. This baby has taken me and my comrade a full year to make. The process for each verse was so draining that there was a two month hiatus between each one...ugh. I think the finished product is a masterpiece, however.

Tylenol...eh-hack, eh-hack...

(Cough, cough, cough)
Who could have the cough?
Drinkin' chicken broth
Stranded in the land of Nod
Standin' up I'm dizzy
I'm dirtyin' up the sink
Barfin' up the fizzy soft drink
Drank it to keep da upchuck down
Momma, take me to the doctor downtown
I'm bustin' all the mercury scales
I'm lookin' pallid and pale
Wonderin' if the medicine's gonna fail
And that alone
Will always keep me monotoned (ahem)
I'm cuttin' off the phone
I got no vision in my eyes
Where the heck am I? (Ah-choo!)
Let me hear yo lungs clean yoselves now
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I'm startin' up them epic films
That settle daily spills
Below a hundred
Last time it worked
Thank God I didn't eat those tacos at church
Wait eight hours and then take another pill

They call me Sick Don Rudd
My nose is a dud
Brown puke flow
To much for your rug
And can't stop the flood
Shut up, Doc. Man, this stuff taste like mud
Oh my gosh
Medicine kills my stomach (churn)
Temperature's too hot for Mylanta (burn)
Dillusional minds
Won't make you feel fine
Locked behind twelve blankets for a long time
Killa sneeze clears the plug
Wit the mucus flood
Got this cold from my neighbor
Seven day bug
On the couch all week
Feel like a slug
And take another pill with cold water
Come feel me, am I hotter
Vomit rate's tremendous
Prescriptions endless
Same cough different week
Head filled wit puss
My common phrase: "Ah-choo"
My face is blue
I'm a little queasy
Repeat, "Ah-choo"

Oh man, I need some Thera-Flu
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I'm as pale as flour
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Everybody influenza now
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Ah
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Choo (*gasp*)
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Oh man, I need some Thera-Flu
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I'm as pale as flour
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Everybody influenza now
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Ah
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Choo (*gasp*)
(Cough-a, cough, cough)

Stomach-ache real strong, head pain gone
Tylenol a bust, let's get refund
Doc said to lay down
Eh-hack, pardon
Mark land up-chuck
Stay away
Get around like old folks
Barely walking through the room
Comin' on the intercom
"Take your medicine"
Lifestyle of the sick people is vicious
Gotta take that crap that they call medicine, delicious
Word in the hospital is
I'm gettin' surgery
Gonna take out my appendix
Try and kill the pain
Actin like they heard the curtains
Didn't believe 'em for a second
I'm feelin' mighty fine
Beds are suitable, chewed my nails to the cuticals
Where'd you find those pills, they feels wonderful
Doctors and surgery tools roll in the room
Pull the plug, get the mask and I'm out like zoom

I'm set
So now that I've escaped
Where'm I gonna run?
It's really very good to see the sun
Complications have arised
In the illness that's inside
What used to be the flu is now pneumonia
What good luck I have
It's affectin' my brain
I escaped
'Cause I hated the taste of the pills that killed the pain
From outta nowhere, they're there
I'm pullin' out my hair
They told me not to leave
But I did it anyway
Without a planned way
So now I'm back in the O.R.
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
And take those pills back
'Cause all your pills suck
(Phlegm is like mildew)
When it's coughed up like muck
Burnin' up my brain with my illness
So all those who don't feel this
Live a life with soap and cleanliness
I never even knew that I'd eventually recover
And now I get to go home

I can throw out the TheraFlu
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I can smell the pretty flowers
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I'm free of influenza now
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Ha
(Cough-a, cough, cough)*gasp*
Ha
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I can throw out the TheraFlu
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
I can smell the pretty flowers
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
But why am I still coughing
(Cough-a, cough, cough)
Uh
(Cough-a, cough, cough)*gasp*
oh
(Cough-a, cough, cough)

I got the sickness again all day every day
The F-L-U
103.4°
Ah-choo, killa sneeze, and the INF
L-U-E-N-Z-A
Y'all know the time
Y'all know the grime
It ain't easy bein' wheezy
In a world full of prescriptions and you know all that other madness
I'm gone
Sneeze

I-I-I-Influenza, m-m-m-me-medicine, blo-blo-block my nose, ya'll, b-b-b-bring it on