No Relief 'Til It's Over
Parody of: "No Leaf Clover" by Metallica (K. Hammett, J. Hetfield, J. Newstead, L. Ulrich)
New lyrics by: John Holland
Author's Note: Oh, geez. I think a ten-year-old took over my brain and made me put this one on the site. :-) By the way, in writing this song, I used one of Metallica's own songwriting methods -- I spent about 20 minutes writing it. Also notice that there are NO Napster references, although I despise Metallica (especially that Ulrich twerp) for it.

Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-unnnn
(Flutey thingy)

And it feels worse this time
On the john for a long time
Pay no mind to the outside shouts
"Better get yer butt out of there, boy..."

'Cause you been in there for a long time
Geez, man, it's about time
I thought that it was over
Then I turned 'round and walked right back in

When you're constipated there's nothing else that soothes you better
Then an ex-lax comin' your way
When you're constipated your family gets really irritated
Because you're hoggin' the john all day

Don't feel right, of course
Grunting like an angry horse
Sucker for those gummi bears, boy
Sucker, those gummies you'll regret

When you're constipated time slows down to a minute per second
And the hours become your days
When you're constipated the next best thing to a box of ex-lax
Is a nice glass of O.J.
"I need O.J...
I need O.J..."
Oh boy

Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-unnnn
Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-unnnn

Yeah, when you're constipated there's no relief until it's over
And that's at least gonna be a day....heeyuh...
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated, yeah....
When you're constipated

Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-unnnn
Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-unnnn
Dun-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-unnnn
Dun-unnnn, dun-unnnn...