Wants Me Dead
Parody of: "Want You Bad" by the Offspring (B. Holland, G. Kriesel, K. Wasserman, R. Welty)
New lyrics by: John Holland
Author's Note: I find it a bit disturbing that a girl would mistake her boyfriend's mother for possible competition. That's why I put it in there.

Me and my girl used to be fine
We would always be together
Until now
One day she saw me with my Mom
Of course she thought that I was cheating
On her

Prejudgements
Can turn
Into a great big mess

She wants me
All gory
She wants me dead
Food poisoned
Big hitmen
She wants me dead, dead, dead, dead, dead

She snuck into my room at night
And tried to smother me with a rag
Nice try
It's obvious that I woke up
I subdued her and called the cops
Ha-ha!

What a close one
I'm a lucky one
But next time I'm not so sure

She wants me
Autopsied
She wants me dead
Assassinated
Strangulated
She wants me dead, dead, dead, dead, dead

Don't get me wrong
I can see where she's coming from
She has a right
I guess that she just misunderstood

She wants me
All gory
She wants me dead
Assassinated
Strangulated
She wants me dead
I mean it
She means it
She wants me dead...dead...dead...dead...dead, dead, really, really dead